...why are blacklights blue?...

lights:

white lights you ask house-guests to remove their shoes
multicolored lights you’re an extrovert
blinking lights you have attention deficit disorder

ornaments:

homemade ornaments you have lots of children
strung popcorn you have too much time on your hands
red balls only you wish you lived in a department store

topper:

yellow star on top you’re traditional
glowing Santa on top you shop at Kitsch ‘R’ Us
cutoff top you didn’t measure the tree

smell:

vague evergreen smell you bought a healthy tree
strong evergreen smell you sprayed your tree with Pine-Sol
just plain smelly there’s a dead bird in your tree

SOURCE: Reader’s Digest, Rebecca Munsterer